I have purchased a couple more books on the advice of my therapist.
Who Moved My Cheese? An Amazing Way to Deal With Change In Your Work and In Your Life by Dr Spencer Johnson is a cute little tale about two humans and two mice who have to deal with change (their supply of cheese runs out). It’s a good example of four different ways of dealing with change. I know I’m pretty bad at dealing with change so hopefully it will inspire me to think about it and maybe deal with it better in the future.
The other book is Reinventing Your Life: The Breakthrough Program to End Negative Behavior… and Feel Great Again by Jeffrey E. Young, Ph.D., and Janet S. Klosko, Ph.D.
I have found this book really helpful. It has a heap of questionnaires to work out which lifetraps affect you in your life and then there is a chapter on each one. My therapist suggested i get it and read a couple of specific chapters which I did. It was helpful. Then she suggested I do all the questionnaires which has been really interesting to see where I do and don’t have problems. Paul has done some of them too which has been fun! The book has a lot of suggestions for dealing with each lifetrap and overcoming it. I can also see that, say, ten years ago I definitely had the dependence lifetrap but I have actually worked at that (as many of my friends know, from my slight obsession with being independent) and it is less of a problem now.
The Lifetraps covered are:
Abandonment (please don’t leave me)
Mistrust and Abuse(I can’t trust you)
Emotional Deprivation (I’ll never get the love I need)
Social Exclusion (I don’t fit in)
Dependence (I can’t make it on my own)
Vulnerability (Catastrophe is about to strike)
Defectiveness (I’m worthless)
Failure (I feel like such a failure)
Subjugation (I always do it your way)
Unrelenting Standards (It’s never quite good enough)
Entitlement (I can have whatever I want)
And I should definitely mention that I have totally changed my opinion to self-help books. I have teased my sister Nicky a lot for some of the books she’s read because I thought self-help books were really stupid, but I can see now that they can be really helpful if you get the right one(s). I have recently been reading Rich Dad, Poor Dad, which Nicky recommended quite some time ago. It’s really interesting. Paul and I bought it at the Brisbane airport just before leaving Australia (nearly a year ago). Paul really enjoyed it and we have discussed the gist of the book many times, but now I’m finally reading it.