I sit on a box of demons

June 21, 2005

Just after I started counselling, I felt a lot worse before I started to feel better. One evening, my counsellor was worried that I might hurt myself and she wouldn’t let me go home alone. I called a friend to get me and I spent the night at her house. I wrote about my box of demons the following morning when I awoke at about 5 O’Clock in a strange bed, unable to sleep.
I sit on a box of demons. Sometimes I would forget there were demons in the box and I’d think about getting off.
“I’m bored. It’s time to do something new.”
Then the demons would get active and try to get out. That would be a tough and upsetting time.
“Oh god, I’m going over the edge.”
So I’d have to push down harder on the lid so they couldn’t get out.
Keeping the lid on the box did restrict my ability to do things.
“No I can’t go off having an adventure. I have to keep the lid on this box.”
I got really sick of having to mind the box all the time.
Eventually I got off.
Now I have to fight off the demons before they’ll go away.



March 12, 2005

Ink on paper, 2005.

Low-self-esteem-induced delusions

May 1, 2003